Do I have social anxiety? These are the signs to look out for
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
If the thought of going to a party makes your blood pressure spike, you may be dealing with social anxiety. Explore the common symptoms and how to treat this disorder.
Does the thought of introducing yourself to new people get your heart racing? Do you get an overwhelming urge to leave anytime you’re in a room full of people, especially people you don’t know? Or do your hands feel clammy all night at your office holiday party, no matter how often you wipe them on your outfit hoping no one notices?
While it’s perfectly normal to feel a little anxious in social situations, many people deal with a heightened version of this anxiety every day.
Social anxiety can make daily interactions feel incredibly intimidating. While you might notice those around you enjoying social experiences like meeting new people, presenting during meetings at work or in a class may fill you with dread. The intense fear and worry that come with social anxiety can feel all-consuming, and, quite often, it can stop you from enjoying life.
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety disorder, often just called “social anxiety,” is a mental health condition that makes many everyday events feel almost impossible. When you’re around other people, you might constantly worry about being judged, looking awkward, or accidentally embarrassing yourself.
This can make it hard to enjoy activities that others seem to find easy, no matter how much you wish you could just relax and be present — like going to a friend’s birthday party, working with a group of unfamiliar people, or even having a casual conversation with a colleague in your office’s kitchen.
While a lot of people feel nervous in new or big social situations, social anxiety is different because it can happen even in familiar settings, which can stop you from doing routine tasks at work or home. And although this avoidance feels like it provides temporary relief, skipping events and activities can limit your opportunities and make anxiety worse over time.
Social anxiety can affect anyone at any age, and while it may feel isolating, you might be surprised to know it’s actually quite common.
What are the symptoms and traits of social anxiety disorder?
Social anxiety symptoms are often intense, persistent, and sometimes hard to spot, especially since they can look similar to other things, like shyness or introversion. But social anxiety goes deeper than just feeling uncomfortable around people. Here are some of the key symptoms and traits to look out for:
Intense fear of social or performance situations: Severe nervousness when you think you may be judged or scrutinized is a common trait. This fear might occur even during interactions that seem effortless to others, like ordering food or talking with a small group of friends. You may worry for weeks before a work meeting, and overthink what you said or did for a long time after. Here are 15 mindful techniques to help you overcome performance anxiety.
Avoiding social situations: You might avoid being around others, even if it means missing important events. Although this might make you feel better in the moment, it can make anxiety worse over time and prevent you from forming connections with new people.
Physical symptoms during social interactions: You might find yourself blushing, sweating, or trembling. Your heart might pound inside your chest, and you could feel short of breath. Dizziness or nausea can also happen, which can make things feel even worse. These can be overwhelming and make it even harder to face social situations, causing a cycle of anxiety.
Fear of being judged or humiliated: You might worry that you’ll do something embarrassing or that people will think you’re awkward or incompetent. This can mean you focus excessively on yourself in social situations, which can increase your anxiety even more.
Overthinking past interactions: You might replay conversations in your head, scrutinizing your actions and worrying that you made a bad impression, or were judged harshly. This can bring you distress long after the event has ended.
Difficulty making eye contact: Social anxiety can also cause a fear of making eye contact, so you might look away, focus on your hands, or decide to wear sunglasses to try and ease your feelings of discomfort.
Low self-esteem or self-confidence: The constant worry about judgment and criticism can make you doubt your abilities and feel less confident, making social situations feel even harder. If you think you’re struggling with self-esteem, here’s how to improve it in seven steps.
Excessive worry about being the center of attention: Fear of judgment and making mistakes can lead you to avoid situations where you might be in the spotlight at all costs, which might mean you miss out on important events at work, or things you’d otherwise enjoy, like an exercise class or an activity with friends.
How to treat social anxiety disorder: 5 tips to help you thrive
Social anxiety can feel like a battle you’ll never win, but with the right approach, it’s entirely possible to manage. Here are five ways to start tackling social anxiety, build confidence, and find relief, so you can finally enjoy many different types of social occasions.
1. Try cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective and widely used treatments for social anxiety. A therapist helps you identify negative thought patterns, like “I’ll embarrass myself if I speak up” or “Everyone is judging me,” and helps you replace them with more balanced and realistic thoughts. This gentle process is designed to reduce the intensity of your anxiety by helping you see situations more accurately.
2. Explore exposure therapy
Exposure therapy is a type of CBT that specifically focuses on gradually facing the situations you fear in a safe, manageable way. A therapist will work with you to create a plan to face your fears step-by-step, starting with less intimidating situations and working up to more challenging ones. The supportive, controlled environment means you’re not facing these situations alone.
For example, if you’re anxious about speaking up in a meeting, you might practice a short response or question in a role-playing exercise with your therapist. As you become more comfortable, you may move to real-life situations, perhaps by attending a small meeting and saying something brief. This gradual exposure helps rewire your brain, so your fears can become less intense.
3. Consider medication for symptom relief
Medication can be a helpful tool for some people with social anxiety, especially when combined with therapy. The most common medications used are SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) like sertraline (Zoloft) and paroxetine (Paxil). These medications help regulate serotonin, a brain chemical that influences mood and anxiety.
If you only experience social anxiety in specific situations, like public speaking, a doctor might prescribe beta-blockers for short term. Used like this, they’re designed to reduce physical symptoms like a racing heart or trembling, so you can feel calmer.
4. Practice relaxation techniques
Social anxiety can lead to physical symptoms that make social situations feel even more uncomfortable, so spending a few minutes a day on relaxation techniques can help you feel more at ease in general. And then you can even implement them when anxiety in social situations arise. Try these techniques to see how they feel:
Deep breathing: Calm your nervous system by breathing in for a count of four, holding for a second, and then exhaling for a count of four. Practice this before or during social situations to help slow your heart rate and reduce feelings of panic. Here are seven other deep breathing exercises to help calm anxiety.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense then release each muscle group in your body, from your toes to your shoulders to help release physical tension. Become more aware of how your body feels when it’s relaxed, tuning in to each sensation. This awareness of your physical body can be helpful during stressful situations as you shift the focus out of your mind.
Mindfulness meditation: Focus on the here and now instead of worrying about what others are thinking or what could go wrong. Even just a few minutes of mindfulness each day can improve your overall sense of calm and help with anxiety. Check out ten other mindfulness exercises you can look to include in your daily routine.
💙 Get guidance from Jay Shetty on how to Breathe Into Relaxation in only three minutes.
5. Set small, achievable goals
Instead of trying to force yourself to dive into something big, start with small, achievable goals that gradually help build your confidence and make social interactions feel less scary.
Begin with making eye contact when ordering coffee or smiling at a coworker. Once that feels more comfortable, move on to slightly more challenging goals, like saying “hi” to a neighbor or making small talk in line at the store. Each small victory adds up, helping you realize that social interactions don’t have to be as frightening as they seem.
💙 Learn how to Ease Your Anxiety before a social engagement with help from Tamara Levitt's The Confidence Series.
3 ways to support someone with social anxiety disorder
If someone you care about is struggling with social anxiety, it can be hard to know how to help. You want to spend time with them, and maybe include them in events like your birthday party, a hike with friends, or a night out, but you’re not sure what to do or say to make them feel comfortable. These tips can help you show up for someone with social anxiety.
1. Be patient and understanding
Recognize that social anxiety is a real, challenging experience that goes beyond the shyness that most of us feel sometimes. Even basic interactions, like meeting new people or speaking up in a small group, can bring on intense worry and physical discomfort for someone with social anxiety.
Express empathy, saying things like, “I know this is hard for you, and I’m here to support you,” to help them feel seen and understood. And if you want to touch up on your empathy skills, these eight exercises can help you develop more of it.
Avoid saying things that might minimize their experience, such as “Don’t worry about it” or “It’s all in your head,” as these can come across as dismissive. Instead, focus on listening and giving them space to share their feelings. If they want to talk about their experiences, let them lead the conversation and just be present for them.
2. Encourage them gently, but don’t pressure them
Someone with social anxiety may want to try new things or join social events but feel too anxious to actually take that step. In these cases, gently encourage them to take small steps forward, letting them know you’re there if they need you.
If they’re nervous about attending a gathering, offer to go with them. You could also suggest shorter, low-stakes activities, like meeting for a coffee or a short walk in the park, as stepping stones toward larger gatherings.
Keep in mind that, even with encouragement, they may still find some situations too difficult, so respect their boundaries and allow them to go at their own pace. If they feel pressured, it could increase their anxiety and make social situations even more stressful in the future.
3. Learn about social anxiety
Understanding how social anxiety feels and the challenges it presents can help you be more compassionate and responsive. Read about it or try talking to a mental health professional for insights that help you offer meaningful support, like creating an understanding environment that feels safe for them. You can also explore what might be counterproductive, like "tough love," which can increase someone’s fear and shame.
If they feel comfortable, ask them directly about what would be most helpful. People with social anxiety often know what they need in different situations, and asking how you can support them shows that you respect their experience. These seven tips can help you become a better friend to someone in need.
Do I have social anxiety FAQs
How is social anxiety disorder different from general anxiety?
Anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are both characterized by intense worry, and can cause distress and interfere with daily life. But they focus on different areas and need different approaches to treatment.
Social anxiety is anxiety specifically related to social or performance situations, where someone fears being judged, humiliated, or embarrassed. You might feel this in everyday interactions like speaking up in meetings, talking to strangers, or eating in front of others.
Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) involves persistent worry about various aspects of life, not just social situations.
Do I have social anxiety or am I just shy?
Shyness and social anxiety may appear similar, but they’re different.
Shyness is a personality trait that can make you feel reserved or quiet in new situations, but you’ll usually warm up to others or feel more comfortable over time. Shyness doesn't usually prevent you from joining in with activities.
Social anxiety causes intense fear and self-consciousness in social situations. It can be so debilitating that even basic interactions feel overwhelming. People with social anxiety often avoid social situations entirely due to their fear of being judged or embarrassed. If this sounds familiar, it may be a sign of social anxiety, not just shyness.
Can social anxiety go away on its own without treatment?
Social anxiety typically doesn’t improve without treatment and can actually worsen if it’s left untreated. Unfortunately, avoiding situations that trigger anxiety can reinforce the belief that social interactions are dangerous, making the fear more difficult to overcome.
Social anxiety can be effectively managed with therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and medication can be helpful, too, for some people. So, take a deep breath and call your doctor for support, rather than hoping the anxiety will go away on its own.
What’s the best type of therapy for social anxiety?
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is thought of as the most effective therapy for social anxiety. It can help you change negative thought patterns that fuel anxiety, and replace them with more realistic perspectives that reduce fear around social situations over time.
Exposure therapy, a technique used in CBT, can also be helpful for social anxiety. It involves gradually facing feared situations in a supportive environment. For example, if you fear public speaking, therapy may start with imagining speaking in front of a few people and progress to actually giving a talk. This step-by-step approach can reduce anxiety and build confidence with the guidance of a therapist.
Are there any medications specifically for social anxiety disorder?
Medications like SSRIs such as Zoloft or Paxil can help manage symptoms of social anxiety disorder by increasing serotonin levels in the brain. These promote feelings of calmness and reduce anxiety, and they’re often used in combination with therapy.
Beta-blockers are sometimes prescribed for social anxiety in specific areas like public speaking. They can help control physical symptoms of anxiety, making it easier to manage situational anxiety. Discuss options with a healthcare provider to determine what's best for your needs.
How can I help my partner who has social anxiety?
If your partner has social anxiety, support them with patience, understanding, and respect for their boundaries.
Encourage your partner, but avoid pressuring them to “just get out there” or “face their fears” if they’re not ready. Small steps, like suggesting a low-key gathering or offering to stay close to them during a social occasion, can be more helpful than pushing them to do something that feels too big.
Ask them what specific support they need and try to be there for them without judgment. Learn about social anxiety to empathize with their struggles, and know that your support can make a big difference in helping them feel more comfortable in social situations.
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