The science of love & the hormones that help you fall in love
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
The science of love is complex. We explore how hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and norepinephrine work together to create the chemistry behind falling in love.
When you have a romantic connection with someone, your feelings may seem uncomplicated. But what’s happening inside your brain is anything but simple. Falling in love requires chemistry — literally. Throughout the process of falling for someone, your brain releases various hormones and chemicals that cause you to feel everything from initial attraction to joy to contentment. The reason a new relationship can feel so all-encompassing is because, well, it is.
The chemistry of love
Love is associated with a series of chemical reactions in our brains. A range of hormones and neurotransmitters influence how we feel, who we're attracted to, and how we build lasting bonds with others. These reactions help us form and maintain romantic connections and influence how we behave in relationships.
What is oxytocin (the love hormone)?
Oxytocin: Often referred to as the "cuddle hormone," oxytocin is released during physical touch and affectionate interactions. It promotes bonding and intensifies feelings of trust and security.
When we engage in physical affection like hugging, kissing, or holding hands, our bodies release oxytocin, which can help strengthen trust and deepen emotional connections, as well as regulate your central nervous system.
In romantic relationships, oxytocin can contribute to the development and maintenance of attachment by enhancing feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety, and promoting security. It’s linked with behaviors such as empathy and trust, and can bring physiological responses that promote closeness and intimacy. For example, during intimate moments or when sharing a personal connection, increased oxytocin levels can help partners feel united.
How testosterone and estrogen impact feeling in love
Testosterone and estrogen: These sex hormones are linked to desire and physical attraction. Testosterone boosts libido and aggression (not necessarily violence, but rather a driving force for pursuit) in both men and women. Estrogen contributes to the regulation of a woman’s sexual arousal and attraction dynamics.
Testosterone and estrogen, the primary male and female sex hormones, help shape our feelings of love and attraction. These hormones influence both the physical and emotional aspects of love, impacting everything from our initial attraction, to the ongoing desire that sustains relationships.
Testosterone is often associated with male sexuality and aggression, but it’s important in both men and women for driving libido and assertiveness. In the context of love and attraction, testosterone increases sexual desire and responsiveness, making someone more likely to pursue romantic interactions. High testosterone levels are linked to increased confidence and assertiveness, which can be attractive when forming new relationships.
Estrogen governs many aspects of female reproductive health, but also has a role in modulating attraction. It contributes to the regulation of the menstrual cycle, which affects fertility and can influence mating behavior.
Studies suggest that attraction may be partially based on how estrogen and testosterone levels cause us to respond to each other's pheromones, which are subconscious chemical signals that can influence behavior. These hormones can affect mood, energy levels, and overall outlook, which can impact how partners interact with each other. Fluctuations in these hormone levels can influence expressions such as happiness, irritability, or sadness, which all play a part in how partners respond to each other.
💙 Dive into Love and Relationships, a guided meditation series that helps strengthen love and support the many facets of romantic relationships.
How dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine work to create the feeling of love
Neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are key in how we experience love, from the exciting beginnings to the more content, long-term phases. Each of these chemicals has a unique impact on our feelings and behaviors in romantic relationships.
Dopamine: Known as the "feel-good hormone," dopamine is associated with pleasure, enthusiasm, and motivation. It’s heavily involved during the early stages of love, providing the rush of happiness and excitement we feel when we connect with someone special.
Dopamine is often referred to as the "feel-good neurotransmitter" because of its strong association with the pleasure and reward systems in the brain. Dopamine is thought to be released in large amounts during the early, exhilarating stages of a romantic relationship — what many refer to as the "falling in love" phase and may be associated with euphoria, a surge in energy, and a general sense of wellbeing, all of which can heighten our attraction to our partner and motivate us to keep seeing them..
💙 Lean into the feel-good hormones during this stage and discover which of The Five Love Languages your partner prioritizes so you can continue to intentionally strengthen your bond.
Serotonin: This hormone helps regulate mood and overall wellbeing. It can bring a sense of happiness and contentment to our relationships, stabilizing the emotional highs and lows that can accompany romantic love.
While dopamine levels might go up in the early stages of love, serotonin levels might actually become unbalanced and contribute to obsessive thoughts or feelings about your partner. Over time, as the relationship stabilizes, serotonin levels might as well to promote a sense of calm, stability, and contentment. This shift might be an important part of the transition to a deeper, more enduring attachment.
💙 Discover how Unconditional Love can remain in a relationship when serotonin levels balance and the emotional highs and lows begin to subside.
Norepinephrine: Acting similarly to adrenaline, norepinephrine triggers several physical effects when we’re attracted to someone, such as increased heart rate and a surge of energy, which are often thought of as physical symptoms of falling in love.
Like adrenaline, norepinephrine heightens alertness and arousal and increases blood pressure. These effects contribute to the exhilarating feeling of being in love, making us feel excited whenever we’re around our new crush. Norepinephrine also plays a role in stress response, which can enhance the emotional intensity of a new relationship.
Together, these neurotransmitters create the complex experiences associated with love. Dopamine can provide the motivation and pleasure that draw us to a partner, serotonin is associated with happiness and emotional stability needed for long-term bonding, and norepinephrine adds the excitement and vigor that keeps the relationship engaging.
💙 Explore the Circle of Love that builds healthy relationships during the Daily Jay.
What is the honeymoon phase, and how does it work?
In the earliest stages of your relationship, also known as the "honeymoon phase," you may experience intense feelings of passion and infatuation, and it’s natural to idealize your partner. Couples often experience a high degree of romantic love and excitement, where everything about the relationship feels blissful, and conflict seems minimal or nonexistent.
This phase is driven largely by a cocktail of neurotransmitters and hormones that create a sort of euphoria. High levels of dopamine during the honeymoon phase might stimulate the reward centers in the brain, leading to feelings of pleasure and exhilaration. Norepinephrine might make the emotional highs more intense and the connection with the partner seem special and unique.
The release of these chemicals can even mask potential red flags, causing us to overlook differences that might later become issues in the relationship.
The honeymoon phase is generally temporary. As the relationship matures, the intense emotional and physiological responses start to settle down. Dopamine and norepinephrine levels normalize, leading to a decrease in the intense rush of feelings. This can allow the relationship to move into a more stable, enduring phase where deeper bonds are formed. This later phase is supported by an increase in oxytocin, which can promote feelings of comfort and security, helping maintain long-term attachments.
It’s important that couples recognize that the cooling off of intense emotions doesn't signify a loss of love, but a shift toward a different, often deeper connection. This is normal and natural — and may even be what you want long term.
💙 Practice falling deeper in love with your partner—even after the honeymoon phase is over—through Tamara Levitt’s guided meditation on Nurturing Relationships.
Science of love FAQs
Why do humans crave love?
Humans are inherently social beings whose survival has historically depended on forming close, cooperative relationships and reproducing as a species. Craving love is part of our biological makeup, driven by the need to connect and bond with others for both emotional and physical wellbeing.
The feeling of love activates parts of the brain associated with pleasure and reward, providing feelings of happiness and security. These positive effects reinforce our desire to seek and maintain close relationships. Love can help us build families and communities, so we support each other to thrive.
What is scientifically proven about love?
Science has shown that love has biological roots and significant effects on our mental and physical health. For instance, being in love can reduce stress and anxiety levels, partly because of the release of hormones like oxytocin that promote feelings of calm and contentment. Studies have also found that love may improve heart health by lowering blood pressure, and boost the immune system, making us less susceptible to diseases. People in loving relationships tend to have better mental health and are less likely to suffer from depression and loneliness.
Is love real or just science?
Love is both a real emotional experience and a biological process. While science can explain the mechanisms behind the feeling of love, such as the release of certain hormones and activation of specific brain regions, the experience itself is personal, so it can vary widely from person to person. The feelings of affection, attachment, and commitment are as real as any other human emotion. Scientific explanations can enhance our understanding of why love is so fundamental to human experience.
What are the common misconceptions about the chemistry of love?
One common misconception is that love is just a chemical reaction. While chemical processes in the brain are involved, describing love solely in these terms oversimplifies the depth and richness of romantic experiences.
Another misconception is that the effects of these chemicals are the same for everyone. In reality, how we each experience love can be influenced by many factors, including personal history, cultural expectations, and social context. Some people believe that once the initial rush of chemicals like dopamine wears off, the love must be fading. However, this can instead mark the development of a deeper, more stable form of attachment supported by different biological processes.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
