Values in relationships: 7 core values for strong relationships
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Discover how shared values in relationships strengthen your bond. Plus, 7 core values to support your relationship, including trust, communication, and respect.
We all have deep beliefs and principles that guide how we live our lives and treat others. Our relationships also have these values (whether we know it or not), which can influence how partners make decisions, support each other, and manage the ups and downs of life together.
When partners share similar core values in their relationship, they can understand each other better, trust each other more, and respect each other's perspectives and choices. This can make it easier to work toward common goals, solve problems, and support each other.
What are core values in relationships?
Core values in relationships are the fundamental beliefs and principles that shape how partners treat each other, make decisions, and envision their future together.
Shared values can provide a set of guidelines to help establish respect in relationships, resolve conflicts, and make important decisions together. Values can also be built around belief systems, such as how religion in relationships might provide a foundation for how partners agree to treat each other.
Understanding and sharing core values can help partners recognize what’s truly important to each other. When you know what your partner values most — and they know the same about you — it can help you grow appreciation in relationships, to build a deeper connection and a stronger bond.
Common core values can contribute to relationship satisfaction and longevity. Partners who share similar values are more likely to support each other's goals and dreams, work together, and face life's challenges as a team. This alignment in values can create a stable, secure environment where love and trust can flourish.
7 core values for strong relationships
1. Communication
Good communication in relationships means sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly, while also listening carefully to your partner. Openness in relationships can help both of you understand each other clearly, so you can solve problems more easily, support each other better, and build a deeper emotional connection.
💙 Learn how to develop Kind Communication between you and your partner to strengthen your connection.
2. Trust
When you trust your partner, you feel safe with them, knowing they’ll respect your feelings and look out for your best interests. Trust in relationships is built through consistent actions, honesty, and reliability. It allows partners to feel secure, be vulnerable, knowing they’re in a supportive environment.
💙 With a strong foundation of Self-Trust, it will be easier to build trust in your relationships with others.
3. Respect
Respect in relationships means valuing each other's individuality, opinions, and boundaries. Treating your partner as an equal and appreciating their unique qualities and perspectives can help make each person feel valued and important. This can encourage personal growth and strengthen the bond between you.
💙 Learn how Holding Space for your partner through all feelings, experiences, and arguments is the ultimate showcase of respect.
4. Loyalty
During challenging times, loyalty in relationships means choosing your partner's side, supporting them, and working together to overcome obstacles. Loyalty can help build trust and show your commitment to each other.
💙 Learn how to truly support others as they overcome obstacles during this session on Supporting Struggle.
5. Appreciation
Showing appreciation in relationships means recognizing and expressing gratitude for your partner and the things they do. Noticing the positive aspects of your partner and the relationship — and not taking them for granted — can boost happiness, reinforce positive behaviors, and enhance the quality of your relationship.
💙 New to expressing gratitude? Tamara Levitt can help you allow appreciation to flourish during the 7 Days of Gratitude series.
6. Forgiveness
Letting go of anger or resentment toward your partner when they make mistakes or hurt you can help you move forward without holding onto past grievances. Forgiveness in relationships can show you value the partnership more than the mistakes.
💙 This Mending Hearts meditation can help you on your journey to forgiveness for both the mistakes you make and the mistakes your partner makes.
7. Openness
Openness in relationships means being willing to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner. It also involves listening to your partner's ideas, feelings, and needs. Openness can encourage honesty, deepen emotional intimacy, and help you grow and adapt together.
💙 Approach your relationship with Non-Judgment and learn to hold space for both your partner’s feelings and your own.
Examples of other core values in relationships
There are many other values that can strengthen a relationship. Each relationship is unique, and the values they prioritize can vary based on their individual experiences, beliefs, and aspirations. These values can help partners build a strong, healthy, and lasting relationship with a deep and meaningful connection.
Compassion: Showing understanding, empathy, and kindness to your partner, especially during challenging times, involves being supportive, offering comfort, and listening to your partner's feelings and needs.
Intimacy: Physical closeness is important, but emotional and intellectual connections are too. Intimacy allows partners to share their deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly and without fear of judgment.
Validation: Acknowledge and accept your partner's feelings, thoughts, and experiences as legitimate and important. Show your partner you understand and value their perspective, even if it's different from your own.
Growth: Be open to learning and evolving together, supporting each other's personal development, and seeing challenges as opportunities to strengthen the bond.
Patience: Patience can allow partners to navigate difficulties and misunderstandings with grace, so you can give each other time and space to grow, learn, and make changes.
Honesty: Be truthful and transparent with your partner, share your thoughts and feelings openly, and maintain integrity in your actions.
Support: Offer to help and encourage your partner and be a reliable and constant presence through life's ups and downs.
Equality: Treat each other with respect and fairness, share responsibilities, and make decisions together to ensure that both partners have an equal voice and feel valued and respected.
Flexibility: Being willing to adapt and make compromises for the sake of the relationship involves being open to change and working together to find solutions.
Joy: Create and share moments of happiness and laughter to appreciate the positive aspects of the relationship. Make an effort to create a joyful and fulfilling life together.
The importance of shared values in relationships
When partners hold similar core values in their relationship, their alignment can benefit their partnership.
Shared values can be guiding principles for the relationship.
Agreeing on what matters most can simplify resolving disputes
Understanding and agreeing on values to help nurture deep respect between partners
Shared values can lead to stronger support and encouragement.
Greater opportunity for compatibility and longevity of a relationship
Feeling better equipped to plan a future together, make joint decisions, and support each other through life's changes and challenges
A deeper emotional connection between partners
A sense of being understood and belonging, which can build a strong and enduring relationship
How to identify shared core values in your relationship
Identifying and aligning shared core values can help deepen your relationship, and make your partnership more resilient.
Open and honest conversations
Set aside dedicated time to discuss — and listen to — what values are important to each of you. This can be an ongoing dialogue, as values can evolve over time. Share stories and experiences that highlight why certain values are important to you, helping your partner understand your perspective.
Identify common values
Note the values that both of you mention or emphasize. These are your potential shared values. It's okay if you don't align on every value. Focus on the ones that are most critical to your relationship's health and happiness.
Understand differences
It's natural to have some differing values. See these as opportunities to understand your partner better. Discuss how you can respect and support each other's values within the relationship.
Create a shared values statement
Once you've identified your shared core values, try creating a statement or a list that expresses them. This can become a reminder and a guide for your relationship, helping you make decisions and navigate challenges in a way that honors these values.
Bring your values into daily life
Discuss how you can embody these values in your daily interactions, decision-making, and long-term planning. Regularly check in with each other to ensure you're both still aligned working with your shared values.
Revisit and revise
As you grow individually and as a couple, your values may shift. Revisit your shared values every now and then, and adjust them to help your relationship evolve with you.
Values in relationships FAQs
How can partners align divergent values?
Partners can align differing values by first acknowledging and respecting their differences. Openly discuss why certain values are important to each of you and explore their underlying reasons. Seek to understand your partner's perspective without judgment. Find common ground where your values overlap, and identify areas where you're willing to compromise. Consider creating new shared values that include elements from each partner's values, to help you build a sense of unity and mutual respect.
Can relationships survive without shared core values?
Relationships can survive without shared core values, but they may face more challenges. When core values aren’t aligned, partners might find it harder to agree on important decisions, resolve conflicts, or feel fully understood and supported. However, with strong communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to understand and accommodate each other's differences, partners can navigate these challenges. Identify which values are non-negotiable and where there’s room for flexibility.
How do values evolve in long-term relationships?
In long-term relationships, values can evolve as partners grow and experience life together. New challenges and phases of life can influence and reshape your values. With communication and a willingness to adapt in the relationship, a couple can navigate these changes and grow together. Regularly revisiting and discussing your values can help ensure your relationship evolves with your beliefs and priorities.
What role do values play in conflict resolution?
Shared values can be important in relationships as they can play a role in conflict resolution, providing a common framework for understanding and resolving disagreements. When partners are aware of each other's core values, they can better understand the motivations behind each other's actions and words. This can lead to greater empathy, more effective solutions, and a stronger bond, to help build deeper trust in the relationship.
How can couples cultivate new shared values?
Couples can cultivate new shared values by trying activities and experiences that encourage growth and connection.
Discuss what new values you both find meaningful and want to bring into your relationship.
Set goals and take actions that reflect these new values.
Celebrate and reinforce these values through rituals, traditions, or regular practices.
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