How to give a sincere apology: 7 mindful tips (and examples)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn what a sincere apology is, including examples and when you should give one. Plus, 7 mindful tips to help you prepare and give a sincere apology.
A sincere apology is much more than just saying, "I'm sorry." When we acknowledge a mistake and express genuine remorse for the consequences, we show we’re committed to changing behavior and that we’ll try to prevent the issue from happening again. A thoughtful approach to a sincere apology can help mend relationships and grow respect and trust in both professional and personal situations.
What is a sincere apology?
There are several key elements to a sincere apology. Giving an honest, heartfelt expression of regret can help ensure the person you're apologizing to feels genuinely heard and valued.
Acknowledge the mistake: Stating what you did wrong shows you’ve taken the time to understand how your actions affected the other person.
Express remorse: Your words matter, but you can also convey how sorry you are with your tone and manner.
Commit to change: Promising not to repeat the behavior or action that caused harm shows a commitment not to make the same mistake again, as well as dedication to improving and maintaining the relationship.
Understand and empathize: Validating the feelings of the other person can help heal the emotional wound.
7 tips for giving a sincere apology
Apologizing sincerely is important for resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships. With a few simple tips, you can make sure the person you’re apologizing to knows you are sincere, that you’re taking responsibility for your actions, and that you’re committed to making things right.
1. Acknowledge what you did wrong
It’s important for the person you're apologizing to to see that you recognize your mistake, so be clear and explicit about the actions or behaviors you’re sorry for. Showing an understanding of what went wrong without avoiding the details can show your apology is genuine.
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2. Express your remorse genuinely
Use words that convey your regret for what happened. Also, pay special attention to the tone of your voice and facial expressions to ensure they match the sincerity of your words, showing you’re truly affected by the hurt you caused.
3. Avoid making excuses
Keep the focus on your regret and responsibility. Avoid diluting your apology with explanations or excuses, which can make it seem like you’re trying to shift blame or justify your actions.
4. Listen actively
Give the other person a chance to share their perspective. Listen without being defensive or interrupting. This shows you respect their feelings and genuinely care about their point of view.
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5. Offer to make amends
Think of ways to repair the damage caused, or ask the person how you can make up for the mistake. A proactive approach helps demonstrate your willingness to fix things and move forward positively.
6. Commit to not repeating the behavior
Part of a sincere apology is promising not to make the same mistake again. This may involve changing some of your behaviors or habits, and showing you’re committed to these changes can strengthen the trust in the relationship.
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7. Choose the right time and setting
Timing and environment can be important in how an apology is received. Find a moment in a private place when the person is ready to talk. Choosing the right time helps show respect for the gravity of the situation and the other person's comfort.
When to offer a sincere apology
Knowing when to offer a sincere apology is as important as knowing how to apologize properly. There are many situations where apologies might be necessary — from minor misunderstandings to serious mistakes — and they’re each important in preserving and deepening relationships.
Mistakes and errors: Whenever you make a mistake that affects someone else, it's important to acknowledge it and apologize.
Hurt feelings: If you've said or done something that’s hurt someone emotionally, an apology can make them feel better and show you care about their feelings.
Negligence or oversight: Neglecting a responsibility or overlooking an important detail can impact others. Apologizing can show you recognize what’s gone wrong and that you’re taking steps to prevent it in the future.
Broken trust: In situations where you've shared private information without consent or failed to support someone as promised, a sincere apology can go a long way.
Physical accidents: Even if it was unintentional, causing physical harm requires an apology. This shows empathy and concern for the wellbeing of the injured person.
Professional missteps: In a work environment, if you’ve made a decision or taken an action that negatively impacts your team or project, acknowledge this with an apology and do what you can to make things right.
3 examples of sincere apologies
Effective apologies will differ depending on the situation and relationship, but they all share sincerity, acknowledgment, and a commitment to change. Here are a few helpful examples of how to structure a sincere apology.
1. Apology to a friend for missing an important event
"I’m really sorry for missing your birthday party last night. I know how much it meant to you, and I should have planned my schedule better. I understand if you’re upset with me, and I want to make it up to you. Can we set a time for a catch-up, just the two of us?”
2. Apology in a professional setting for a missed deadline:
"I apologize for not meeting the deadline we discussed. I realize that this has put our team behind schedule. I take full responsibility for the delay, and I’m currently working on completing the tasks as quickly as possible. I’ve also arranged for some additional support to ensure we meet our future deadlines. I appreciate your understanding and will continue to work on my time management skills so that this doesn’t happen again."
3. Apology to a partner for a thoughtless comment:
"I’m sorry for the comment I made yesterday. It was thoughtless and hurtful, and I can see why it upset you. I didn’t mean to make you feel undervalued. I love and respect you, and it’s important to me that you feel cared for in our relationship. Let’s talk about how we can communicate better. I promise to be more considerate with my words going forward."
How to give a sincere apology FAQs
How can I apologize if I'm not fully sure what I did wrong?
If you’re unsure what you’ve done to upset someone, the best approach is to start an open conversation. You can say something like, "I've noticed you seem upset with me, and I want to understand what I might have done wrong." This shows your willingness to listen and your commitment to resolving any misunderstandings. During the conversation, listen carefully without interrupting or getting defensive so you can truly understand their perspective. This will allow you to offer a sincere apology.
What should I do if my sincere apology is not accepted?
If someone doesn’t accept your apology, it's important to respect their feelings and response. Acknowledge their right to feel hurt and give them the space they need. You can say, "I understand you're not ready to accept my apology right now, and I respect your feelings. I'm here and willing to talk whenever you feel ready." It can be difficult, but try to show continued respect and patience, as these can help heal the relationship in future.
Is it ever too late to offer a sincere apology?
It’s almost never too late to apologize. A sincere apology, even after a long time, can be an important step toward healing and closure. When apologizing for something that happened a long time ago, it's helpful to acknowledge the delay. You might say, "I know this happened a while ago, and I wish I’d addressed it sooner. I've realized the impact of my actions and I’d like to apologize sincerely." This demonstrates your consideration for the other person’s feelings, regardless of the time that’s passed.
How can I ensure my behavior changes after apologizing?
To ensure you don’t repeat the behavior you apologized for, reflect deeply on what led to the mistake and consider what changes you can make to prevent it in the future. Setting clear goals or seeking advice from trusted friends, mentors, or professionals can also be helpful. Keep track of your progress, and be open to feedback from others. This can help change your behavior and also shows others that you’re serious about doing better.
Can a sincere apology really repair a damaged relationship?
A sincere apology can play an important role in repairing a damaged relationship. While it doesn’t erase the past, it may help with healing and rebuilding trust. An apology can show acknowledgment, remorse, and a willingness to work on yourself, which are key components in repairing relationships. However, the overall healing process also depends on both parties being willing to reconcile and move forward together.
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